What worked for us: Baby sleeping on my arm to breastfeed, buying a massive bed and fencing the side, three big blankets

We currently all sleep together in a super-king size bed with the sides blocked off.  We sleep cosily through the night, and wake happy to see one another. 

Originally, Baby Vegan rested their head on my arm because they couldn't reach my nipple otherwise.  Later, however, we just grew used to this position.  It gave us the reassurance of knowing where one another were, and Baby Vegan could  easily reach out for a snack. 

We could breastfeed at night while horizontal, and without fully waking up.  If Baby Vegan took a while to settle, then I could also roll them onto my chest and rub their back.  

One thing which has made life easier for me is living in a flat, as I can easily hear Baby and get to them quickly, wherever I am.  Now Baby is older they can get themselves out of bed and casually walk into the living room.  I think a big soft bedsit would be really nice.

Bed sharing can be controversial.  Below I have summarised some of the advice we followed:

Mother and Baby



Adult advice

Breastfeeding (Breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDs.  Frequent night-time nursing helps mothers to make sufficient milk.)

Both parents aware, involved, and responsible 

Long hair tied up

Adults avoid

Smoking currently or smoking during the pregnancy (Smoking is correlated with increased risk of infant death.  There are no studied on e-cigarettes or vaping.)

Alcohol, sedatives, medications, drugs, substances

Extreme obesity

Excessive tiredness

Pets and other children in the bed

Good bed

Firm and clean surface 

Light, comfortable blankets 

Mattress meets bed frame, so as baby cannot fall between 

Baby can't fall out (you could put a mattress on the floor or use a bed rail)

Bad bed

It is not advised to sleep on the settee

Keep pillows and soft bedding away from baby (ie duvet, sheepskin)

Stuffed animals

Sleep positions

Infants are advised to sleep on their backs (Baby Vegan actually slept on their side on my arm.  The Durham reference states that it is common for baby and mother to face one another.)

It is suggested babies do not bed share if:

Born prematurely or with a low birth weight

Feverish or unwell (we did not follow this, and not every reference mentions it)

Prepare for

Breaks in routine, such as visiting friends and family overnight or going on holiday.

A close alternative to bed sharing

Co-sleeping cot alongside bed

It is usually advised that babies sleep in the same room as adults for at least the first six months



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