Low stress wedding tips     Skip to longer version

 

1) The wedding which we, not someone else wanted

 

A wedding may be interpreted as a party about yourself.  Therefore, we felt we might as well go the extra selfish mile and make ours teetotal and vegan.  We had the faith that we knew ourselves best, regardless of what others have done before.  The plan was this: low stress, low key, and low budget for both us and guests.

 

2) A venue where we could relax

 

The registration and reception took place close together in accessible locations.  The reception venue was a large hired house and garden, which enabled us to provide guests with free accommodation.  It was suited to unpredictable weather. The date was convenient to guests.

   

3) Quality above quantity, and value above price

 

The rings were sustainable wood, and we sourced food from our local ethical shops.

 

4) Invitations set the tone   

 

We invited a small group of close friends who would, by default, ‘get’ the occasion without complaint.  Invitations set the tone for a day of relaxation rather than formality. We let guests know they don’t need to buy a new outfit, said presents were not required, and gave transport instructions.  I explained this in detailed emails, which I created for free.

 

5) I didn’t obsess about my dress

 

A friend made my wedding dress.  I wore comfortable shoes, no makeup, and did my own hair.   

 

6) Our friends and family helped

 

Everyone chipped in with preparation and tidying.  Working together where you can is a good way to break the ice.  People like to feel useful and busy, but not put upon. The main meal was made by our chef friend.  The dress designer’s partner helped with photography, and other guests pooled pictures on an app.  Another friend made petal confetti.

 

7) The day was about spending time with guests, not just about us

 

We didn’t want to be a perfect princess and prince, but normal people who live together and love one another on a daily basis. Enjoyment was gained from our guests feeling happy.  This removed pressure, as we didn’t have to put on a show. We would not be disappointed by unrealistic expectations.

 

8) We took our pick of structure and tradition

 

Our registration was short, so we got back for lunch time.  We didn’t make a seating plan, so guests sat where they liked.  The venue was stylish enough to do without decoration, and the internet provided playlists.

 

9) Children took part fully

 

We wanted children to play and equal part in the day amongst everyone else.  Children are our friends too, and we didn’t expect adults to pay for babysitters.  My mum brought children’s toys from charity shops, there was a park next door, and we also played board games and sports.  

 

10) Speech equality

 

Our mixed gender speakers (my Dad, one woman and two men) gave us laughs and marriage guidance from different perspectives.

 

By Ms.

 
 

Low stress wedding tips  Back to shorter version

 

Apparently, a quarter of couples get into debt to fund their wedding.  Unsurprisingly, they are a source of stress which affects many people.  We did not want this to happen to us.  We wanted to start married life on a high.

 

  1. The wedding which we, not someone else wanted

 

A wedding may be interpreted as a party about yourself.  Therefore, we felt we might as well go the extra selfish mile and make ours teetotal and vegan.  We had the faith that we knew ourselves best, regardless of what others have done before.  At each stage we talked together, and discerned how we really wanted to spend money. It did help that we have easy going families.  

 

Our priority is our new flat and baby, but we still managed to have a great day.  Overall, the focus was on spending a long weekend with friends. The plan was this: low stress, low key, and low budget for both us and guests.  We previously considered legal arrangement without a wedding, but Mr wanted to return the honour of being best man. It provided a good excuse for a party.  

 

   2. A venue where we could relax

 

The venue was the main, and we felt most important expense.  The registration and reception took place close together in accessible locations.  The reception venue was a large hired house. It enabled us to provide guests with free accommodation, freedom to roam outside, the ability to mingle before the event, and take naps during.  It was suited to unpredictable weather. We felt more at ease in a private home than a place with staff we haven’t met.

 

The (school holiday weekend) date was one when a friend from abroad was in town.  Mr also secretly checked my parent’s calendar to confirm they were free.

 

  3. Quality above quantity, and value above price

 

The rings were sustainable wood (although we later changed these).  We sourced food from our local shops, including a low-cost, low-waste vegan co-op.  These items are tasteful and ethical, while inexpensive.  

 

  4. Invitations set the tone   

 

We invited a small group of close friends who would, by default, ‘get’ the occasion without complaint.  We decided we had too many relatives. Some people were annoyed at being left out, but not as many as you might think.  Invitations set the tone for a day of relaxation rather than formality.

 

We let guests know they don’t need to buy a new outfit.  We said presents were not required, but that they could get a small plant if they liked.  We provided maps, public transport and parking information, and asked for dietary requirements.  I explained this in detailed emails, which I created for free.

 

  5. I didn’t obsess about my dress

 

A friend made my wedding dress.  It was a delight to spend extra time together, while supporting her business, as well to have the fun of looking fancy.  I wore comfortable shoes, no makeup, and did my own hair.

 

  6. Our friends and family helped

 

Working together where you can, is a good way to break the ice.  People like to feel useful and busy, but not put upon. Several people chipped in with preparation and tidying.  The main meal was made by our chef friend.  We requested comfort food, nice, but not too spicy, so as to please everyone.  The dress designer’s partner helped with photography, and other guests pooled pictures on an app.  Another friend made petal confetti.

 

  7. The day was about spending time with guests, not just about us

 

We didn’t want to be a perfect princess and prince, but normal people who live together and love one another on a daily basis. Enjoyment was gained from our guests feeling happy.  This removed pressure, as we did not have to put on a show. We would not be disappointed by unrealistic expectations.

 

  8. We took our pick of structure and tradition

 

We walked one another to music we like, made no vows and I saved the later hassle of changing my name (new passport, contact the blank, bla…).  Our registration was short, so we got back for lunch time, avoiding hungry moods. We didn’t make a seating plan, buy decorations, or hire a DJ.  Guests took their choice of chair, sofa or grass. The venue was stylish enough to do without decoration, and the internet provided playlists.

 

  9. Children took part fully

 

We wanted children to play and equal part in the day, amongst everyone else rather than in a peripheral assigned area.  Children are our friends too, and we didn’t expect adults to pay for babysitters. My mum brought children’s toys from charity shops, and we also had board games and sports.  We occupied a family elder who is prone to passing criticism with strategically scattered magazines.   

 

  10. Speech equality

 

Our mixed gender speakers (my Dad, one woman and two men) gave us laughs and marriage guidance from different perspectives.

 

By Ms.